Sorry

Sorry to say that i don't know how much you care about me.I don't know what you are thinking. They say you do , but you never mention to me. I scare that i think too much.I scare that i misunderstood your kindness. i am sorry. Please forgive my ignorance.

我从小就遗传了一种皮肤病。加上幼时又与哮喘扯上关系，医生说 ：“你的皮肤病，这辈子都会伴随着你。根，是断不了的。”
病情随着年龄的增长而恶化。从前只在手臂于腋下的红点，渐渐不知怎么样，连拇指都开始脱皮了。起初我并不以为意，以为是平时指甲旁的死皮脱落。可这次不同的是，脱皮的范围逐渐增大，引起了父亲的注意。他发现的第二天就塞了几十块给妈妈，要她带我去看医生。
药膏需要间隔不断的搽才会有效。
礼拜天那天，我把书包遗留在教会的橱里。完全把它忘了。晚上，当我一贯地翻找，才发现。怎么办？父亲一定会骂我的。他每天都在督促着我，每个晚上都检查，看我到底有没有搽药。这个晚上，我绞尽脑汁---要怎么才不会被发现呢？
不出房间？行不通！那。。。就以胶布包着，让他以为我搽了药吧！果然不出我所料，他问我：“搽了药吗？” 稍微顿了一顿，说：“搽了。包好了。”
“拆开来让我看看，顺便拿药来给我看。”
“糟了！被发现了吗？”“我。。。搽另一种。。感觉上比较有效。刚看医生拿回来的药。。。留在教会。”
失望闪过了他的眼神。转头就下楼，看到妈妈，就对她说：“她大了，会骗我了。等等。。”
之后，他拿起“笨蛋傻瓜”的钥匙，叫我跟他去教会一趟。那时是晚上十一时。
在车的后座，他以沉重地说；“你已经十七岁了，应该会想了。该不该骗我？你自己知道。好好想一想吧！”
静，吞噬着车里的空间。即使外面是何等的喧哗。
什么东西？咸咸的。。。
心中呐喊：对不起，下次不敢了。

Lost

People love the goods and hate the bads.
We love gaining something and hate losing something . Agree?
We love wealthiness and hate poverty.
We love colourful and joyful life , hate dull and life filled with worries and grief.
We love to make friends with handsome guy/girl and refuse to talk to an old lady begging beside the Macdonald.
How about losing something or someone?
We scare to lose our loves one.
We scare to lose our purpose of life.
We scare to lose our health.
We scare to lose our life.


What do you feel when you feel lost?When life is no longer something you longing for?What on earth am I living for?
A baby....grows up....study hard....pass the examinations with flying colours....obtain a good job...good salary....marry....having children....sending children to school.....having grandchild.....then? say bye bye .....
Is life so meaningless?


How about when you lose a love one?A partner who accompanies you the whole life. Though I didn't have one, but I can say that it is going to be a hard time for those who loses the love one.haha. crap.....
My first experience about death is when I was 9 years old . Grandfather was suffering from blood cancer . He came to kl to seek help from a better hospital. But.....unfortunately he couldnt make it. I cried for the whole day. My beloved grandfather .

However , there is hope behind "lost". Hope is still around us.^^
Without losing , we would not realise the importance of something/someome.We would not treasure what we encompassed . We would not be grateful of what we have.

camp

On the 26th-28th of Dec 2009, i took part in a camp . I was shocked after i realised that i was one of the group leader. There was 11 of us(including myself).2 of the boys are f5, the rest are younger than me. Only one of them was from the same churh . We did not know each other. So what could be expected was that they were so quiet in the first group sharing. I tried my best to speak up and encouraged them to voiced out.Of course i couldn't remember all of their names on the first day.
There was a captain ball competition ( among girls) and basketball competition ( among boys).At first we got the same points.Then we had 2 minutes of the second round and we got beated by the other group.Our group was disqualified><. But nevermind, the most important is everyone can take part in it ^^.Further more.....it was quite boring actually XD The second day :- We had marathon ( about 3 km)and telematch (10 stations) .I was so weary on that day. There was a performance on that night, presented by every group (10 groups). That night we had a sharing session among us and i was quite glad to see that they were willing to share their thoughts .^^ The third day:- Time passed so fast. It was the last day. We didnt have much activities on that day. Just took some photos....... This is the first time that i would not feel upset after the camp ended. I dont know why. kaka.If the organiser heard it, he gona to be very disappointed and upset. XD

it was really a long time since the last time i updated my blog
In this year's holiday, i went for a 10 days camp.It was really interesting and i did learn a lot of things. There was a small misunderstanding between us. And this let us learn to love and forgive . Overally , i did not regret to take part in this 10 days camp. It helps to rebuild my perspective of life .

Thursday -
First of all,i admit that i wasn't good at playing piano . However ,i don't know somehow i

mustered my courageous and went for the school song's audition . ^^'''

At first we was told to go to school hall . But it was used by the afternoon session . OK.Fine.

Though i had to go for the PPS AGM , i went for the audition first . Then it was in Bilik Bahasa .

That piano was......Terrible......I guess it's over hundred years old..hehe..Well , i was very

nervous ,my hands were trembling . ....


Friday :

Due to the terrible condition of the previous piano , Puan Norizan offered us to play again in

school hall today . If i had not mistaken , there were 8 of us (including me) . OMG...i was going to

pull out ...they played very well ...ok..yunshi, take it easy , I told myself .

My hands were trembling . This time even worse then yesterday.....Here we go : CBN , the

shining stars......

恩赐

从前，有两个饥饿的人得到了一位长者的恩赐：一根鱼竿和一篓鲜活硕大的鱼。其中，一个人要了一篓鱼，另一个人要了一根鱼竿，于是他们分道扬镳了。得到鱼的人原地就用干柴搭起篝火煮起了鱼，他狼吞虎咽，还没有品出鲜鱼的肉香，转瞬间，连鱼带汤就被他吃了个精光，不久，他便饿死在空空的鱼篓旁。另一个人则提着鱼竿继续忍饥挨饿，一步步艰难地向海边走去，可当他已经看到不远处那片蔚蓝色的海洋时，他浑身的最后一点力气也使完了，他也只能眼巴巴地带着无尽的遗憾撒手人间。 又有两个饥饿的人，他们同样得到了长者恩赐的一根鱼竿和一篓鱼。只是他们并没有各奔东西，而是商定共同去找寻大海，他俩每次只煮一条鱼，他们经过遥远的跋涉，来到了海边，从此，两人开始了捕鱼为生的日子，几年后，他们盖起了房子，有了各自的家庭、子女，有了自己建造的渔船，过上了幸福安康的生活。
一个人只顾眼前的利益，得到的终将是短暂的欢愉；一个人目标高远，但也要面对现实的生活。只有把理想和现实有机结合起来，才有可能成为一个成功之人。有时候，一个简单的道理，却足以给人意味深长的生命启示。
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